G - Gut Instinct

(This post is a continuation of the story for the letter F. Click the link on the right under Blog Archive to read that one.)

Twelve years later, Sandy remembered that night as if it were yesterday. What she’d called “little doubts” had proven to be big red warning signs. But she had been so happy, she hadn’t allowed herself to think too much about it. She had lived happily in a state of blissful ignorance. Besides, back then she wasn’t much for following her gut; she hadn’t yet learned to trust herself.

So she had gone through with the lovely wedding of her dreams as planned. At first, she was happy. The verbal abuse started so gradually, she really had barely noticed it. An insult here. Criticism there. He always apologized. At first. It had happened so infrequently that she hadn’t thought much of it. The first year of marriage was always hard, right? Getting adjusted to married life wasn’t always an easy transition. Tempers flared; she overreacted sometimes.

Then the yelling started. His temper got worse. She never knew what would set him off so she tried to stay out of his way when he was in one of his moods. Now after years of his verbal tirades, she was done. She didn’t even know how long she had wanted out. But she had come to a decision. She was leaving. She wasn’t trying any more. Sandy was calling a lawyer first thing in the morning. Was she doing the right thing? Even now, she wasn’t completely sure she could trust herself. After all of the put-downs, she wasn’t sure she could make it on her own.

She thought back to that night before her wedding. If she’d had the guts to do some soul-searching then, maybe she could have saved herself so much grief. But how could she have known what lay ahead of her? She had been happy and hadn’t wanted to blow what she thought was her chance at true love. Now, though, she had a chance to make a change. This time she was going to take care of herself.