Sunday, April 5, 2015
Thursday, April 2, 2015
I sneak a peek through the blinds, hoping he doesn’t notice. I can barely make out his form in the darkness. He doesn’t want much to do with me anymore. I wipe some sleep from my eyes. What happened to my little boy? The one who used to light up when he saw me? The one who was so eager to tell me everything that I thought he would burst into flames? We used to chat while I made him breakfast. Now he eats alone because he wants it that way. We used to sit together while he waited on the bus in the dark. Now I am reduced to spying on him from the window because he doesn’t want me there. I shield my eyes from the flashing lights of the approaching school bus. My teenaged son chats with the neighbor kids as he boards the bus. I brush away a tear as I close the blinds and drag myself back to bed.
Wednesday, April 1, 2015
Aggravated. Seems that's my state of mind lately. Aggravated with the kids. Aggravated with difficult people. Life can seem like one annoyance after another. I even get aggravated with myself when I snap at everyone. Or I stay up too late. Or I'm tired. Again. I can live in a constant state of aggravation (or anger, for that matter.). Or I can accept what is and make the best of it. I can recognize all the big and small aggravations as chances to grow. Acceptance. Yeah. I think that's what's needed. Just accepting what is...Accepting that kids are just doing what they do. And that's okay. Accepting that I mess up constantly. I stay up too late. I eat too much chocolate. I don't do the things I know I should do. And that's okay. Accept it. Own it. Stop fighting it. Accept. Accept the flaws in other people and in myself. Accept the annoyances and the interruptions. Stop fighting the way things *should* be and accept the way they actually *are*. Funny thing happens when you do that. You feel a lot less aggravated.