Hurting people hurt people.
Ok, I shamelessly stole that from Joyce Meyer. But it’s true. I’m the meanest
and tend to lash out the most when I’m tired or worried or feeling
unappreciated or stressed or scared or all of the above. Just this morning I
about lost it with my kid because I was exhausted from a bad night’s sleep.
And many of us carry around
deep, lasting wounds too. We may not even always realize it because we’ve built
up so many defenses around ourselves over time. But unless and until we
acknowledge them and try to work through them or allow God to bring some
healing, we’ll probably end up either taking it out on someone else or taking
it out on ourselves. Yes, it takes effort and can be painful, but it’s so worth
it to get out of these hurtful cycles we perpetuate.
It’s also helpful to
remember this when we encounter difficult people. I’m not in any way condoning
taking things out on our kids. We do have to take responsibility for our
behavior regardless of the pressure on us. But maybe the lady in the checkout
line snapping at her kid is a single mother who has no help and whose ex is
behind in child support. Maybe she has worked 10 hours of overtime already this
week and has no idea what she’s making for dinner. And now her kid is asking
for candy that she can’t really even afford for the 12th time today.
Maybe instead of a disapproving glare, she could just use an encouraging word.
Or a smile. There are hurting people all around us. Maybe, just
occasionally, a little kindness might go a long way in easing someone’s pain.
You never know.
So true, once the patience cup starts to crack with a little bit of this (tired) and that (headache) still pouring in...snap!
ReplyDeleteWe're all human, and yes, we snap at our kids. But they need to we are human most of all.
ReplyDeleteThere was no need for jealousy, Cheryl...you did great with your own H. I feel exactly the same way as you do; when I see someone being mean, I always think that I might act exactly the same way if I'd had his or her day. And I make sure I smile at them.
ReplyDeleteRhia from Five Minute Piece for Inspiration (around #862 on A to Z list)
Hurt is an unpleasant emotion, I was hurt last year and try as hard to forget it every now again it rears it's ugky head,
ReplyDeleteEnjoyed your H word.
Yvonne.
No one likes to feel hurt or pain of any kind. But I have to say that one of the worst hurts of my life ended up being one of my biggest epiphanies actually. It was extremely painful but ended up being freeing when I realized I could let go of others' opinions of me.
DeleteEnjoyed this post. I try to put myself in other people's shoes and be understanding, but I am still working on doing it as much as I should. Great reminder! It kind of reminds me of the quote that is something like, "if we could throw all our problems into a big pile with everyone else's problems, we would be fighting to get our own back."
ReplyDeleteYes I still struggle with being understanding too.
DeleteThanks for reading. :-)
Stopping by via the A to Z Challenge.
ReplyDeleteI really enjoyed this post. It took me quite a while to realize that my worst mothering days happened not because the kids were unusually rowdy or bickered more than usual but because, for whatever reason, I was feeling bad about myself. Maybe I'd had a bad night or was upset about something someone had said to me. Finally realizing this gave me more perspective--and a little more patience--for the days that just don't seem to go right.
I like what you said about putting ourselves in other people's shoes. It's so easy to judge, but maybe we'd be less inclined to do so if we were more understanding of others.
You've got a new follower! :)
Thanks Dana!
DeleteYes, when I am feeling bad about myself is when I act the worst as a mom as well. It does help to at least be aware of this, though sometimes I still act out anyway.
Hello Cheryl! Thanks for stopping by Adventures in the Ballpark! It's nice to meet you. I like this post, it's so wise to remember that we never know where people are, what they're day has been like, what they're going through. As a Christian, I try to remember that myself. I wrote 2 posts that you might find interesting (links below). One on why it's important to keep in mind God's perspective. And the second one on a powerful book called Boundaries.
ReplyDeletehttp://adventuresintheballpark.blogspot.com/2011/03/whos-boss.html
http://adventuresintheballpark.blogspot.com/2012/02/valentine-for-human-heart.html
This A-Z challenge is fun, isn't it? How great that you are a new mom at 44! Mom-hood is great anytime. I have 3 grown kids, who I still called youngins!