Tuesday, April 3, 2012

A to Z April Blog Challenge: Control

So this is the third day of the A to Z April Blog Challenge. Let me just say, it rocks. Of course I have neglected other things like housework and BIW to do it, but I am loving it. I just happened to find it on Sunday via another writing site (BIW). So I had to jump “write” in (I crack myself up). I suppose my theme is lessons I am learning/have learned. So, on to day 3: C is for Control.

I can be such a control freak. Especially when it comes to my kids. I think a lot of parents are the same. We must be gluttons for punishment because if you have kids, you know that trying to control them is pretty much a fruitless endeavor. There are so many things I can’t make my child do. I can’t make him sleep, behave, get good grades, or care about keeping a clean room. And I just frustrate myself and him when I try. We can set them up for success; we can guide them and teach them. But when we try to control the outcomes of every single scenario they might encounter, we usually fail and end up wearing ourselves out and creating conflict with our child.

This whole letting-go-of-control idea can be applied to so many other areas as well. The truth is there’s really so much we cannot control. That sounds like bad news, but it really isn’t. It takes a lot of pressure off when we realize we don’t have to go around trying to make everything and everyone be exactly the way we think they should be. It’s also very freeing.

It can be hard though. Because ultimately it requires faith – faith that we can handle an outcome we don’t necessarily want. Faith that it will be okay even if it doesn’t go the way we planned. And faith isn’t always easy for me. Hmm. Maybe I have my topic for “F” already.



7 comments:

  1. Hi from the A to Z Challenge! All of your posts are really good. I could've written the stay-at-home mom one word for word! Thank you for articulating what I'm sure so many of us are feeling. Control is tricky; it seems like the more we try to hang onto it, the easier it slips away. I just read a great book called Parenting with Love and Logic that addresses the control issue and how children need to be allowed to make choices within the parameters we set. If only I could be less emotional and follow that advice. Sorry for the long comment! Good luck with the challenge.

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    1. Thanks for the comment. It is hard to keep our cool when parenting. Often we know what we SHOULD do, but it's hard given the exhaustion factor alone. Thanks for stopping by.

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  2. When I was growing up, my parents were divorced and we spent school holidays with our dad. My mum had a lot of control over us and where we went (we lived in the middle of no where with no bus service) and dad had no control (he wasn't bothered and we lived in a city with him). Life was better with mum though. At least she cared to try and control us. Whether it worked is another matter but still...

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    1. Sometimes it's about balance too. :-)

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  3. I am totally not in control. LOL. But it is hard to have faith that things will turn out the way you hoped.


    R is for Relax. ;0)

    Jen from http://falling4fiction.blogspot.com/

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    1. Good one for R. Easier said than done sometimes. But I'm trying.

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  4. Hi Cheryl,
    I really enjoyed all of your posts so far. I especially like the thought of 'letting go'. I think your thoughts touch every parent's life. Thanks for sharing this personal blog, and for commenting on my blog as well.

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