Yes, I am cheating. I got
behind so I’m combining E & F for this post. But it’s appropriate because
that’s how I felt the other day. Epic failure. Not at this blogging thing.
Though I’m not doing so hot with that either. At the parenting thing. I read a
post a week or so ago about how no one tells us about the anger, the rage that
comes with parenting. No one tells us about the sheer exhaustion of it all
either. And it’s not just physical. Oh yes, that’s a big part of it. No doubt.
But it’s mentally fatiguing as well. It so messes with your head. No one tells
you how mentally tired you will get of telling your child 5, 10, 15 times to do
something – say, go to bed. You set limits. You have consequences. You
threaten. You yell. You try being understanding, but then end up losing it
anyway when they *still* do not listen. And then? You get to do it all again
the next night. Or maybe even the next morning. It’s exhausting to not be
listened to. Ever. It’s exhausting to feel like you spend all day long washing
dishes. Yet somehow the kitchen is never, I repeat NEVER, clean.
Look at my blog during this
challenge. I’ve written some fiction posts and even tried to follow a coherent
storyline (what was I thinking?). Other posts are just parenting rants. That’s
what it’s like to be a parent. You start one task, only to drop it and start
something else. You jump back to the first thing, but never really finish
anything. I mean, I almost used the word Exit for E and was going to exit the
A-Z Challenge. But for some insane reason, I decided to try to plod on.
Horrible as my blog posts and writing have been. Plodding on. Trudging through
the mud. The ugly. Moving forward. Not giving up.
And that’s what parenting
is as well. You mess up a million times a day. You get up in the morning and think,
“Hey, I’m going to be kind and understanding and loving today. I’m not going to
lose my temper.” And by noon, I’ve lost it a dozen times already. I immerse myself in positive
parenting information and forget every bit of it when I get frustrated, tired
or overwhelmed. Yet we have to keep going. We have no choice.
So I’m still here. Stinky
writing and all. And do I have a clue what I’m going to do for G? No, I do not.
Well, I can think of one word. And I have a feeling it’s the same word I wrote about
for last year’s G. Guess I haven’t learned that lesson yet. Grace.
This is such an honest, well-written post. I'm not a parent so this is is news to me, but it suddenly made me appreciate my parents even more.
ReplyDeleteYou're not an epic fail. Just keep holding on, okay?
From the A-Z neighborhood,
D is for Deecoded
Each word is just absolutely true about parenting. I guess no parent really is a failure (lest they are bashers) since everyone wants and tries to the best parent they can be. There have been times where I have promised myself not to lose my temper without much success but that only gives me another reason to keep trying....Hold on, girl. This is what life is about...to keep moving and learning, each day. Cheers!
ReplyDeleteHow true. I remember my days when kids were home. Fights for the bathrooms, lunch boxes and breakfast and like and dislikes. You got it right. You are a reflection of many of us or rather many of us are a reflection of you. Holler and vent as much as you want.
ReplyDeleteI loved your post! Every parent feels like they are an epic failure on some days. Eventually, you will look up and see what wonderful people you were responsible for raising and maybe it will all seem worth it..I am a fellow A-Z blogger.
ReplyDeletehttp://agutandabutt.blogspot.com/
Not a parent yet.... so yet to experience feelings. :)
ReplyDeleteBut a parent is never an epic fail. :)
- A fellow blogger from A to Z!
I can feel your pain! I have only one child. A girl! And I could have written your post! It helps knowing you're not the only one reacting this way!
ReplyDeleteI am so in the parenting doldrums myself over here...ugh! I finally resorted to leaving a note on my son's bed...with the same request I had made numerous times during the day. I so here you on the exhausting repetitiveness!
ReplyDeleteYou are absolutely not a failure, and I think "epic fail" is clever! Rant away, I say. It's your blog -- you can do anything with it you want -- and I think you'll be surprised how many people will completely agree with you. (I know I do.) I think with boys, instead of being a disciplinarian, you have to play the guilt card ("Look at all these things I do for you, and you can't even do X." *dramatic sniffle*).
ReplyDeleteFun post, and good luck! :-)
The Warrior Muse said you needed some love, so I popped on by ~
ReplyDeleteParenting is one of the hardest jobs in the world!
thriftshopcommando.blogspot.com
Thank you for your honesty; it's refreshing. I don't see how you have an "epic fail" though. An "epic" fail would be wearing diapers so you don't have to stop while driving away to find a new boyfriend, leaving your family behind. That would be an EPIC fail. Just living in confusion while soldiering on is not even really a fail. That's just surviving until you get to the other side, when things will calm down again. It just takes awhile.
ReplyDeleteFrom A to Z, Kristen's blog: kristenhead.blogspot.com
Hey, didn't anyone send you the memo before you got pregnant? The one that I got, years too late, was that the main asset you have to have as a parent is: ADHD. That, and a continent full of patience, and a boatload of money. Hang in there. I think it gets better. (Although, my kid is going to be 27. He's a boy. And I never get to talk to him 'cause he's always too busy--for me.) Good thing I love the guy or I'd cross him off my friends list! I think it's supposed to be friendlier if you have a daughter--later on, once they've grown up. (?) Well, maybe the best thing we can do is rant about it with our other friends who are parents. And the even better thing to do is: take time for your self. Laugh about it with your friends. Make sure you fill up your 'me' cup, and then you yourself have a well of overflowing to give. Keep up the great work. Keep smiling. Stay beautiful. Love, MoonWynd
ReplyDeleteI think it was in the air last week. Take it easy on yourself Momma. You're not alone on this crazy ride. That's the nice gift this A-Z blog has given us. A creative little space just for us. And too, keep on writing. Some of the best 'stuff' comes out of a passionate...spew! And not to sound too cliche, I know how you're feeling...you're not alone...this too shall pass...I can go on forever with 'em. Breathe...breathe...breathe...
ReplyDelete