Yes, I am cheating. I got behind so I’m combining E & F for this post. But it’s appropriate because that’s how I felt the other day. Epic failure. Not at this blogging thing. Though I’m not doing so hot with that either. At the parenting thing. I read a post a week or so ago about how no one tells us about the anger, the rage that comes with parenting. No one tells us about the sheer exhaustion of it all either. And it’s not just physical. Oh yes, that’s a big part of it. No doubt. But it’s mentally fatiguing as well. It so messes with your head. No one tells you how mentally tired you will get of telling your child 5, 10, 15 times to do something – say, go to bed. You set limits. You have consequences. You threaten. You yell. You try being understanding, but then end up losing it anyway when they *still* do not listen. And then? You get to do it all again the next night. Or maybe even the next morning. It’s exhausting to not be listened to. Ever. It’s exhausting to feel like you spend all day long washing dishes. Yet somehow the kitchen is never, I repeat NEVER, clean.
Look at my blog during this challenge. I’ve written some fiction posts and even tried to follow a coherent storyline (what was I thinking?). Other posts are just parenting rants. That’s what it’s like to be a parent. You start one task, only to drop it and start something else. You jump back to the first thing, but never really finish anything. I mean, I almost used the word Exit for E and was going to exit the A-Z Challenge. But for some insane reason, I decided to try to plod on. Horrible as my blog posts and writing have been. Plodding on. Trudging through the mud. The ugly. Moving forward. Not giving up.
And that’s what parenting is as well. You mess up a million times a day. You get up in the morning and think, “Hey, I’m going to be kind and understanding and loving today. I’m not going to lose my temper.” And by noon, I’ve lost it a dozen times already. I immerse myself in positive parenting information and forget every bit of it when I get frustrated, tired or overwhelmed. Yet we have to keep going. We have no choice.
So I’m still here. Stinky writing and all. And do I have a clue what I’m going to do for G? No, I do not. Well, I can think of one word. And I have a feeling it’s the same word I wrote about for last year’s G. Guess I haven’t learned that lesson yet. Grace.